A Bed Net

Have you ever entered a marathon or run a race without getting in shape? Have you ever walked onto a sunny beach at the beginning of the season in Florida or Hawaii without putting sun-screen on?  Answer: Probably not!

The reason: You could get hurt.  A marathon requires a grueling run for over 20 miles which causes chaffing and rubbing in very delicate places, not to mention the sheer exertion required. If you haven’t prepared yourself physically and mentally, you might damage your body in such a way that years are required to recover. The same can be said for sunburns. Permanent damage can happen to your skin if you haven’t prepared for extended exposure to the sun.

In today’s world of overt sexual rambunctiousness and crazy escapades, you need to be careful and know what your limitations are physically. Sure, everyone makes jokes about “throwing your back out!”  But really, have you ever tried to recover from a serious back injury?

In all earnestness, if you have been in a car accident and are undergoing rehabilitative surgery or correction for damage sustained, you should probably be careful when engaging in sex.  This is even truer if you are not in peak shape physically or are overweight. If you are both injured and over-weight, then you are flirting with disaster.

Many people become exceptionally impassioned when engaging in sex, and it is easy to become so exuberant as to undo what has possibly taken years and tens of thousands of dollars to rebuild.  Sure, you might be feeling the best you have in years; and, what the heck, it’s been so long, why not just have a great time!

Are you certain you want to undo that hemorrhaged disk you just had operated on? Are you certain you want to throw your neck out of alignment after seeing the chiropractor three days a week for a year?  Take your time, limber up, and ease back into the game, just as if you were preparing to run a marathon. After all, you can’t win if you don’t finish the race.

One of the most frustrating things in the world is when you are in the mood for some fun, and your other half is not. What are you supposed to do when you’ve been waiting on a night together and the whole event unravels due to a lack of interest or a foul mood?

What you need to do is plan ahead! That’s right, establish the right atmosphere and reduce the odds of “failure!” Set an objective and some easy-to-attain goals, lay out a reasonable plan, and then launch the attack!

But . . . isn’t that wrong? Wouldn’t that be considered conniving, or manipulative? Nonsense. All’s fair in love and war, right? Well, consider this the “love” side of it!

“Creating the right mood” should involve determining what your other half really likes. Is she or he a gentle soul who likes things calm and easy, someone who perhaps needs a little wine to get him/her in the mood? Or is she/he playful, and would rather have a night at the bowling alley and a beer?

Maybe your other half is a homebody who never likes to go out, but needs stimulation to get his/her blood up. In this situation, maybe an easy night out would be best, some place relaxed with all the accoutrements of home.

If your other half is a slow learner (like some are!) then perhaps several weekends in a row will be required to bring the person up to speed. In this situation, tread lightly and gently and find ways to interest the person along the same lines as when you first met.  Be romantic and set romantic lighting or revisit romantic sites, places where you first met or visited.

Setting the right mood, at the most basic level, can usually be accomplished easily enough with candles, soft music, and a good meal. If you haven’t tried this already (and let’s face it, a lot of people haven’t) then perhaps you should!

Here’s a basic question: When does sex begin? That may seem like a silly question, but do you know the answer? Few do, and certainly not anyone under the age of 18!

Does it begin when a couple begins holding hands? Or does it begin once an organ is inserted into a cavity?  Does it begin with tantalizing looks and the explicit exposure of skin in clothing bought at exorbitant prices, or does it begin with a hand down the trousers?

While these questions may simply be philosophical issues best left to Ph.d’s in a laboratory, they carry significant weight and implications to your life and a probably the health and well-being of your current or future family.

Few recognize today that sex can begin well before two individuals are cavorting in the back of a car. Perhaps it is classified as “allure” or “seduction.” In either case, it is best to be conscious of it and to acknowledge its ramifications. More than one innocent youth in the history of mankind has been lead astray by a pair of tight pants and a steamy look!

Understanding and acknowledgement of lewd behavior can save you time and energy. A person can be spared the inconvenience of an unwanted sexual encounter simply by recognizing what another is communicating with his or her clothing and attitude.  The rock n’roll culture of today has become so common-place, in fact, that most people don’t recognize that gyrating hips implies sexual activity!

If you can learn to spot behavior patterns which are precursors to sex, you can avoid a lot of complications and damaging behavior. You can learn to say “no” to a person well before you are vainly trying to remove his or her hands from your clothing. Let’s face it: once the hormones are a-boiling, it becomes more and more difficult to say you don’t want to have sex.  It’s better to recognize the signs of sex well in advance.

When someone has a serious illness, it can be difficult for them to show much interest in sex. Some of these people also have interest in sex, but they just cannot get their bodies to do what they want. In other words, they don’t have the strength of the ability to have sex, even if their mind is willing. They might also have to wait for clearance from their doctor so they can enjoy sexual activity again. If you find yourself in that situation, be patient. While sex is important to a lot of people, there are plenty of other pursuits that you can enjoy. Take up a hobby you can safely do and that will keep your mind occupied. Thinking about the sex you’re not having won’t help you feel better.

If your inability to have sex is temporary, you can look forward to the day when you’ll be able to enjoy it once again. If you’ve been told you’re simply not healthy enough to have sex – such can be the case with someone with a severe heart condition, for example – you’ll have to come to terms with the fact that part of your life is over. There are many other healthy ways to channel that energy, of course. If you feel depressed about the issue, seeing a counselor to talk about your feelings can be very beneficial. There are still people who think that seeking help is weak, but this is really not the case. It can help you find other pursuits that you can enjoy.

While sexual activity is a large part of life for some people, there are other people who choose to make it only a small part of their life – or they don’t have it in their life at all. These people, if a lack of sex is their choice, are generally happy and don’t have a problem with their lifestyle. They have plenty of other things in their life that keep them busy and fulfilled, and you can do things the same way, if serious illness ends your sex life.

Have you noticed the number of celebrities who are claiming to suffer from “sex addiction” these days?  “Sex addiction” has become a very popular excuse for many men’s failures to stay committed to one person in their lives, namely their wives.

And why not? Every magazine on the racks at the grocery stores screams “Sex! Sex! Sex!” Every magazine is telling women how to have a better time in the bedroom, how to “please” her man in 10,000 different ways.  Not to mention that each and every woman can learn how to do this in 30 seconds, of course.

Whether or not it’s true what the magazines are touting doesn’t even enter the equation for some reason.

So is everyone really surprised when it’s announced that Tiger Woods claims to be addicted to sex? Are the women around the country really surprised when a man who has everything, including an amazingly beautiful wife, can’t keep his hands off other women?

Not really. No one seems to be surprised by these stories anymore. Everyone seems to be disappointed when two people turn out to be faithfully and happily married.  Everyone seems disappointed when a wife remains faithful to her husband, or vice versa.

Shouldn’t it be the other way around? Shouldn’t it be that everyone is shocked when someone cheats? Or has society dropped so far off the morality radar that sex is no longer considered a personal, private activity?

Perhaps the nation should erect monuments to celebrities who have slept with great numbers of women. But then, if that was acceptable, the male celebrities wouldn’t be claiming “sex addiction,” would they?

So perhaps society’s sense of right and wrong regarding when to have sex is still intact. Perhaps the women across the country should consider it a good thing that celebrities are claiming “sex addiction,” since this means they still have some awareness that they have broken a promise of good faith with their wives.

From time to time, some people lose their interest in sex. There can be several reasons for this, and it does seem to happen to women more often than it does to men. No matter what age bracket you’re in, whether you have a current partner, or which gender you are, there are things you can do in order to get your sexual interest back. The first thing you should do is visit your doctor to rule out a medical problem. Some health problems can really kill your sex drive, and it’s important to rule them out before you do anything else. Once you’ve been given a clean bill of health physically, assess your mental health. Problems like depression and anxiety can also make you lose interest in sex.

If you’re depressed or having problems with anxiety or panic attacks, seeing a therapist for a few sessions may help you regain some perspective. There are also medications you can take to improve these conditions – although some of them can lower your sex drive. Be sure to steer clear of medications with this side effect, if you’re already struggling in that area. Also, talking with your partner can help. Maybe there’s something else in your relationship that’s causing you to feel too overwhelmed or tired for sex very often. Perhaps there’s a problem that you’re not dealing with, or something about your partner that’s turning you off to the idea of having sex.

While it might be difficult, the best thing you can do for your sexual relationship is to be open and honest with your partner. If there’s a large issue, this can be very hard to deal with. If there are smaller issues that your partner won’t see as significant, it might be hard for him or her to understand why you put such importance on something that might seem meaningless to someone else. Put those fears aside and choose to be open and honest, anyway. Once you talk things out, you may come to resolutions that will spark your interest in each other once again.

It’s no secret that there are plenty of places – both online and offline – where you can purchase products to enhance your experience in the bedroom. Is this a good idea, and will it improve the quality of your relationship? That depends on several factors. While some people enjoy using props and toys in their sexual experience, other people aren’t comfortable with that kind of play. What you like and what your partner likes have to be the most important issues. Don’t let other people’s opinions talk you into or out of what you feel most comfortable with. Toys are fine if you enjoy them, and you don’t need to use them if they make you uncomfortable. The most important thing is that you and your partner are both comfortable with what goes on in your bedroom.

When you’re both at ease and interested in showing love to one another and having fun, your experience can be very beautiful and exciting with or without anything extra added in. The best way to move toward this kind of experience is to be honest with yourself about what you’d like, and then encourage your partner to do the same. Then you can talk about it together and determine what areas you agree and don’t agree on. Even if you aren’t completely in agreement, it’s better to make sure that you know that before there are misunderstandings in the bedroom. Just be sure that you don’t try to pressure your partner into agreeing with your opinion. That’s one of the ways to create a disaster, instead of a fondly-remembered experience.

If you and your partner are uncomfortable talking about it, there may be deeper issues in your relationship. Sure, sex can be an embarrassing topic – but it doesn’t have to be. If you’re really comfortable with one another you should be able to talk about what you do and what you’d like to do in a mature and realistic way. You’ll be better able to communicate your desires that way, and that’s a winning situation for both of you.

When people think of sexually transmitted diseases they usually think of teenagers and young, college-aged kids. That used to be the biggest demographic when it came to STDs, but now the prevalence of them is rising among older people, too. As people live longer, some of them end up widowed – and still interested in being sexually active. Because they really didn’t have to worry about STDs when they were  younger, and they don’t have to worry about pregnancy at their advanced ages, they don’t really think much about condoms. With that being the case, STDs are starting to spread among them – and a lot of them don’t even realize there’s a problem until they start to experience symptoms, by which time they may have spread their STD to other people, who have then passed it on.

Older people need to become more educated about sexual health and the problems that they could face if they aren’t careful. No matter what age bracket they fall into, using a condom is a good idea. If both partners have been tested, are free from disease, and are completely monogamous, then this no longer becomes an issue. Until they get to that point, though, being careful is by far the best choice. Some STDs provide symptoms and you can tell that something’s wrong. Others are silent, but they are still doing damage and can still be passed on to other people.

Many STDs can be cured once you’re aware that you have one. Seeing your doctor and being tested is a good idea, especially if you’ve been having unprotected sex and think that you might be at risk. If you do have an STD, there are treatments for it. If it’s not one that can be cured, there are still medications you can take to help keep it from developing and getting worse. Just be sure you’re honest with any future partners, so they know you have an STD. Then, they’ll have to make the choice whether or not to have sex. There’s always some risk, even when using protection.

A lot of people get together and ‘hook up’ – or have sex without any kind of commitment involved. They might not even know their partner’s last name, true age, or anything else about that person. It’s ‘just for fun’ and doesn’t mean anything. These people are putting themselves at great risk for sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) when they get together with people they know nothing about. They’ll most likely use a condom, but these can break and sometimes they come off, have a hole in them, or have other problems that can compromise their value in that situation. This increases the risk of STDs and pregnancy, and can really leave people scared and upset. You can avoid all of that, though, by only having sex with a partner you know and feel comfortable with.

People sometimes argue that this isn’t as exciting, but there’s nothing exciting about an unwanted pregnancy or an STD. That not only causes a lot of alarm at the time, but can harm your future, too. In the case of STDs, you can have a lot of trouble when you do meet someone that you want to become seriously involved with. Some STDs can be cured, but others cannot. Having one that you’ll deal with for the rest of your life means your future partners will have to deal with that, as well. Some people find that to be a deal-breaker when it comes to dating and having sex with someone they meet and are attracted to.

By holding off on having sex with someone you’ve just met, you’ll be doing yourself a huge favor – even if it doesn’t feel like it at the time. You may end up getting to know that person and having a real, lasting relationship. If you don’t, there’s no harm done and you won’t feel like you need to be worried about your present or future health. You’ll also avoid the risk of a pregnancy and the raising of a child with someone you don’t know and aren’t even sure if you like. Knowing your partner is important.

Finding out that you have a sexually transmitted infection is horrible moment for anyone who has the displeasure of finding out. You go through a lot of emotions and at best you hope you can find relief that the infection is treatable, or better yet, curable. What can make this finding out more difficult is that somewhere along the line you will have to inform current and past sexual partners of your unfortunate findings.

If you think for a second you do not have to tell them, you should rethink this. You must tell them because they have a right to know and protect their own sexual partners. So how do you tell them? This is a very difficult topic that can be handled in an adult way.

Just like a band aid is what they say. Be direct and upfront. Do not beat around the bush. No one appreciates being made to be toyed with important life news. Just tell them. If you were adult enough to have sex with someone you should be adult enough to handle the problems or complications that might arise from having sex. Just be upfront and tell them exactly what it is.

Do not sugar coat this news. This doesn’t mean you have to be mean but this does mean that you need to disclose all relevant information. Not sure what is relevant? If you aren’t sure, share it with them anyway and let them decide if it’s noteworthy. Let them know how you best figure you contracted the infection and what you are doing to fix the problem. If you are not sure then say that too.

Respect and accept their anger or sadness. This is a difficult time for anyone who finds out some personally embarrassing news. They may blame you and while you may not have known you have to know that it’s understandable to be upset and after time passes they may change their mind on their feelings. Don’t worry about that. You have done what you needed to do. You made the right choice about an uncomfortable situation.